Hamsters

This has nothing to do with hamsters, I simply couldn't think of a title. Odd that my least favorite of the rodent family was the first thing to pop into my head.

Last Saturday was the reception for my cousin's wedding. Her family moved to Saipan several years ago and I really hadn't seen her much, save it be the occasional visit. I don't remember how young she was when her family left, but I know that seeing her sitting at the head table in a wedding dress next to her husband, was about the most surreal experience I can lay claim to in quite some time. Even now as I write '..her husband..' it doesn't seem right. This was the little girl who used to curl up in the recliner and suck on her middle and ring finger like it was some form of life support.

It got me thinking about my own life a lot, though. I started thinking about where I am, my intentions for the near and far future and what was more likely to happen. I began thinking about how unhappy I am in life with a lot of aspects and my overall disgruntlement in who I am. This all lead me to sit down and ask myself a very important question: what is going to make you happy?

Obviously you can't correct things overnight. There's a lot to do. Fortunately, I'm only 26 and while that's not 18, it still leaves me some time to figure things out. I'd like to be the guy sitting at the head table sometime. I'd like to know that I had an honorable relationship with my girlfriend til she was my fiance and my fiance til she was my wife.

So, self, let's see where this goes. There are some changes to be made and some of them are going to be incredibly difficult. Though, as a great man once said, " I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it.'' I'm banking on that.